1. |
More Things I Hate
04:06
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You know I hate how the past
is all we seem to talk about.
I'm not where I imagined I'd be years on from now
back when the drinks cost
back when I ran on bad Luck
We know that times irrelevant
when you're already a decade late
Moving on is tough when all you have to move on to
is everything you hate
oh no I've said too much tonight
at least no one cares enough to start a fight
There's something about the way
We live in constant haze
Memories haunt me
Too clear to be erased
and I am not done but It's getting cold in here
on the Outer Circle Of Everything we can't separate hope from fear
You know I hate how we
always seem to vote for thieves
do a small majority know more than me
am I too different to understand?
or am I just the punchline?
They want to bring down others for there own gain and once there done with the worst off it'll be us again and I'm scared I'll the strength to retaliate
I will try and prise the bottle from my hands
Just long enough to take another gasp of air before returning back to hell.
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2. |
Taciturn
03:54
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A fog is circling in
I cant help but lose my meaning
There is a warmth inside
Drinks and family all collide
I must remain tongue tied
I must not ruin a good night
Control gets difficult
The drink numbs and watch out here I come
What a great embarrassment
You don't want me near your friends
My words bring around Joy's end
A hopeless pest full of regret
Good times and memories
I play them out in minor keys
A plethoric, tangled mind
If there's a smile there's a fight
In storms we fly our kites
I cant seem to get it right
For every shattered night
I'm left here screaming from inside
I hope you have insecticide
For I'm a leech that steals your pride
A sharp tongued Thorn stuck in your side
A hopeless pest saying sorry all the time
The seed is sown, hamartia diagnosed
A jesters throne, that no one wants exposed
What a great embarrassment
You don't want me near your friends
A hopeless pest waiting for the end
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3. |
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I used to think love
Was a fire of lust and explosions
that was complicated and tiresome
left my in a mess with confusion
It hurt as much as it healed you
but the mind doesn't fix like the bones do
It trapped you more than it freed you
I know now
Love is calming smile
When romance loses it's bullshit
When silence isn't a treatment
A special language between us
My younger self would tell me I'm boring
I'm settling down lying on towels I've thrown in
That I'm not making the most of each moment
I know now
Love is a calming smile
It's moonlight on snow, retracing footsteps after the show
it's a winding road, where fear can never take hold
If every day remains the same as the last
I can't wait to relive
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4. |
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I toil with the obsessive insight
to find meaning in every night
I know I should let sleeping dogs lie
but I'd much rather have them over for a pint
I thought of a quiet life
to be alone with my thoughts
lose the mind long before the body
Experience will always come first
I know I said I hate people but being alone seems so much worse
Because I ever want is to get drunk with friends
I know its a problem when they're all doing other things
All the worst years, best years
they don't exist
were passing time
That's life not a gift or a curse
A blessing or something far worse
It's just nature and maths
No purpose or paths
Everyone exists just because
Well at least we know the basics
All our joys and our Ailments
Since there's nothing better to do lets get on the booze
and I'll end up saying things that I will probably regret
It's inevitable we say things for effect.
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5. |
Remain
04:03
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We hold potential in the air
I get so blinded by despair
It's in the prolonged holding scenes
you fall apart in front of me
I'm not an expert at repair
I struggle always but I care
I hope it's not resolve you seek
For I am fragile, I am weak
I am no holder of the key
I've never been granted entry
I'll never sink enough to drown
Enough to look up when I'm down
When you look deep into me
I wonder what it is you see
I fear your eyes they may deceive
Loves drawn a curtain over me
Somewhere there's a mistake
I'm not equipped to sooth your pain
it's not enough to give you praise
it's not enough to keep to sane
It's a wonder you remain
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6. |
Just Be Brave
06:05
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Its cold, its freezing, you stumble, you fall
you perish but you just can't feel it
the hangover is felt by all the next day
as you're body is retrieved from the lake
I now walk alone, with a cigarette in hand
A shadow of the man I once was
The river is so big as one life, mines so small
can I make as big a difference, could yours of?
When life takes away someone you love
and you feel like you can't face another day just be brave, just be brave
come on wake up now you've got to see
you still have you're whole life to lead
come on wake up now you've got to see
they're gone but you're still not alone
The times we had, some epic so where bad
There all memory's we should be grateful for
Whats left now is the company, I want the crowd
taken by the bouncers and thrown into the void
Theirs a sudden chill in the air and I hear you're voice
I turn around but you disappear, its all white noise
When life takes away someone you love
and you feel like you can't face another day just be brave, just be brave
come on wake up now you've got to see
you still have you're whole life to lead
come on wake up now you've got to see
they're gone but you're still not alone
Time makes everything decay
you and me, the stars in space
Time is never on our side
Reality is what we use to hide
because we are meaningless
objects with best before dates
We are meaningless
Don't let it bring you down.
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7. |
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Sleep will not win
Not until each regret is counted
All the hours fade away
As I branch out this shady character I've made
I know that its a curse
Obsessive and rehearsed
An open wound I scratch instead of nurse
Sleep will not win
Not until the last leaf has fallen
I try to grow the things I need
This garden is moribund, struggling to breathe
The Seeds I sowed yesterday is tomorrows decay
watered with shame but absent of blame
Every single line is a push against a door
I'd much rather pull closer, embrace until its over
Every turn of phrase is born from an inwardly beggar who knows
What he wants not he needs
I can't control myself
Temptation overwhelms
A long line of addicts
This is no different
I know it's a curse.
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8. |
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In every morning light there is limits we can't fight
but we carry on projecting our worth
productive all the while we know one day we'll all die
The source of all will take back what it's given
I don't think it'll be a day of sorrow
Mankind will finally be met with equality in death
and no will give a shit about the economy
We'll be thankful for the time spent
while some will surely panic
as everything fades in to insignificance
The elderly will leave with the best quality of life
The young the will count themselves cheated
They'll learn the only master there's ever been is death
you can ask him for fairness
but I wouldn't hold your breath
I don't think it'll be a day of sorrow
Mankind will finally be met with equality in death
and no will give a single fuck about the economy
No one will care about the stock markets
Money will die with the rest of us
No you can't tax the sun for spoiling your fun
No VIP's in a black hole
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9. |
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Safe to say I'm beaten
I'll say these words and I know I'll repeat them
Counting down the hours, leafs from books of countless liars
I could have been so much better than this
Safe to say I am lost
Took the signs too seriously and shattered at the costs
You see that roof above our heads?
Well it was taken away with the vows you swore you'd keep till your grave
You would keep till your grave.
I'll spend all I have, without making a plan
And I'll use everyone, like father like son
And I'll do what I want, I won't ever get caught
And I'll make you proud
Yeah I'll make you proud
Inheritance is the whiskey you poured
And with its high percentage came the twist that made you cold
You try and say that these things happen
I know it all too well, one day I'll probably share that lonely cell
Share that lonely cell
I want to leave all this behind
My hearts got bored and now its time
I want to write another line
Well I'm sorry, I bet you're sorry too..
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10. |
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When I drop dead
Will I feel relieved or will I struggle in my last steps?
When I drop dead
Will my soul rest knowing that I did everything my best?
When I drop dead
Will those I never talk to suddenly call me there friend?
When I drop dead
Will it be a pristine body or a ruined corpse that's left?
When I drop dead
I hope I'd have the had the guts to have taken at least one more step
When I drop dead
I hope the world finally listens to at least some of the words I said
If I had just one wish it would be to keep all my memories to relive in precise detail again and again
Even now I can say in all honesty my life by my own design is one I can never tire
A song that I'd leave on repeat forever in the ether
If all thats left to do is add more chapters and fill out the frequencies until the top sand in the hourglass runs bare keeping a beating heart becomes one less care
Keeping a beating heart becomes one less care.
(Outro is literally a single line from every song I've ever written in one big smushy reverby mess to resemble the point I'm making above)
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