1. |
Hungover Borealis
04:15
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We always thought I'd grow out of this
Yet I stand here in the same thin frame
Haven't grown since I was 18.
I'm Terrified of ever letting go
It's awkward sense of self I run always the nervous one
No matter how many times I do this
Anxiety builds in my veins
The outcome always stays the same
I remain in the same exact place
I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of tears
Theres no triggers that seem to appear
when I make the slightest interaction It's like this feeling rushes up inside then disappears
Taking everything day by day short sighted means to end
Now past wake up call lies before me as the corpse of missed opportunity
a dispise in every sunrise and a regret in every sunset.
For all the things I'm thankful for it's not what comes to mind
when I feel the need to write my temporised thoughts to calm the rising tide.
Theres no part of me resenting all the life that I have kept holiding those around me like a coaster to the bottom of a bottomless pint glass
Sometimes I feel the past calling me.
I can see for the first time my life laid out before me,
it's as predictable as it's always been I can stop pretending to myself I'm different regardless of every step in the opposite direction this going to end the same way as everyone before me and now I know my own normality its highlights my mortality and it feels like every year is getting shorter
we hold close to bad routines
finally buy the things we need
work ourselves til nearly death
and have ceremonys inbetween.
Why wont anybody listen why does no one seem to care what life is left for us that shines past this despair.
Theres nothing that I think we can fight about
Theres no hurt between us
our chemistry
if we both grow old and I get more boring than I already am I hope you dont mind.
Lifes starting to feel like an adventure not a cage
open universe with your name only engraved
The friends that remain both in wealth or on the brew
Surviving victims of this svengali class milieu
This course has never been to brighter shores but battered through
My cynical mind my constant negative outlook
I can't hold this course much longer I know you're tired of it I'm tired too so frustrated and bored.
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2. |
Wish Too Late
04:19
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I was a fool to believe
Lost so much that I can't retrive
The first time the song was complete
It was about young love, hanging in the balance
Pain versified laden with slurs
Turns out burning and quoting The Cure helps but it leaves the past blurred
These months still go by far too fast now that and of all my worries love comes last instead of worrying about one thing I now about everything
I'm in too deep
This is not me
And I cant see
The surface
Time spent on the couch tonight
TV shows? I've nothing in mind
Its not wasted time If it means
Everything
The fast lane Is too fast
Where the wind blows I'm at full mast
But to me I'm always coming in last
My heads get confused
Try to do good but it's no use
Contradiction lies in every path
In too deep..
This plaintive shell is ill-formed
Clouds get darker before dawn
Resign and tell myself it doesn't matter
Have a beer and settle down another
Story that's left untold
A story that's left untold
A story lefts untold
It'll work out, eventually
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3. |
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The more my every step fell on the wrong footpaths the more I got used to taking the hard road. The path less tread
The more things that crumbled in my hands made me work out how to piece it back together. Make it fit
The more I failed the less i hurt and with a strong face I can take more burns and push through the failings of life
The skin becomes so thick it doesn't itch quite like it used to once the scars have fully healed I feel I'm living like I'm supposed to dying for a cigarette not for the sake of smoke but to reflect on my actions and hold memories close
I've Been Spending so much time dancing with these ghosts
There in my head that I'm not sure how to act so I act like I'm not acting, talk like I'm not terrified of every response that Pursues
Dress like I'm not worried about each pair of eyes in the room. Do they see straight through
The side off splutter and the glassy eyes .
I'm sorry I was daydreaming and the moments passed again
there's so much left I can't explain
Making up phone poetry and painting myself grey
to make jump towards another disastrous mistake common life makes its claim
Looking back at everything I can't help but feel mundane will I always feel like it's not good enough all the efforts that I made am i just wasting my life away trying to force myself to fit
You'll always come in last but sometimes you'll gain a little more
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